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November 06, 2005
The pot of Gold many of us seek: Commitment
Newlyweds are usually expected to wax philosophically about commitment, about undying love and expressions of eternal commitment, but this post by Six Apart VP Anil Dash whose just gotten married stood out to me. His reference to the commitment to family and how for him marriage fell within those boundaries is something I feel strongly about, and have tried to practice in my own life in relationships. I point his post comments out because for many, in the circle of family and friends I have (who are disproportioantely divorced and/ or have remarried/recommitted), marital commitment is discussed much like the discussion about an insurance policy; the premiums, the deductables, the clauses. Check out his post.
Excerpt:
"The defining trait of marriage in these contexts is that the commitment comes first. It doesn't occur to most people to get upset that they don't get to choose their siblings; You just love your brother or sister, or you try to, and you fight sometimes and you disagree, and then you get over it, and that's what family is about. And in some ways, marriage can be like that, too. There's a liberation in knowing you don't have an easy out: You know you're going to make it work, and you're not going to give up.So one of the great things about having had the perspective of another culture's look at marriage was realizing that there's a freedom in knowing you can always count on the commitment as a framework that you work within. The absence of that immutable commitment was the thing I most lamented and was dismayed by in so many of the marriages I saw growing up. And it made it easier to know when I was ready and that I'd found the right person who shared that desire, even in a thoroughly American context."
Posted by cystdog at November 6, 2005 01:07 PM
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Comments
Reading that that clip by Anil, I can't help but think about and debate in my own life that everyone has a way out. I base this opinion on several of my past relationships, if you want out you can get out. How you do/don't defines the level of commitment at which you approach personal relationships.
Posted by: Joseph Gamble ![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.scupper.net/log/nav-commenters.gif)
at November 8, 2005 06:54 PM
